its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
