Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
