Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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