We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
only you would photoshop your dick
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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