marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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