btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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