ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
