sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My dad just said "fuck circus"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
