After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
