Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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