I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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