my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
