just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
