I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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