my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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