awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
