I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
