I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
