butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
