i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
