like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
