and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
