TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
