a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize