Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
