He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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