so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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