Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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