Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize