I skipped work to stalk him.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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