do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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