i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
