he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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