so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
