and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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