It's Friday. Sex?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
