he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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