Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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