That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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