His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
