Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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