He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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