I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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