what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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