I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
