Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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