Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
