Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
