What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
