your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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