at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
