There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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