ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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