Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
