Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
