just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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