I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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