I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
