im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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