apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
