can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize