That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
This is my gift to your gina
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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