Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
