when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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