i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
