i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
